The Struggle

Yeah, I see it has been a minute since I have written. I thought it would only be right for me and only me to tell my background and my wrap sheet since so many people have so much to say about my current lifestyle at the moment. Currently  I am a recent graduate which now puts me in the now struggling but yet inspiring artist category. I have been getting and seeing so many comments that is actually getting to me. I know I come off as the "Bitch" of the show and oh so hard......but only if you guys knew. Since I was 19 I was working at CNA Insurance (the big red building downtown) and for my age I was making well over poverty level. I had a career job where I had benefits, 401k and I got paid to not come in if I felt like it (REAL JOB).........When I was 24 I had to get major surgery, where they had to take out my fallopian tube, ovary, small intestine and appendix. I have been diagnosed with a severe case of endometriosis (look it up it ain't no damn joke). With this extensive surgery having children naturally is more than just difficult it may be impossible. My healing process after this mentally and physically was longer than I expected and when it was time for me to return back to work my short-term disability had ran out before the doctor had released me so therefore I was terminated. With this being said I was granted unemployment for over 2yrs and that is how I was able to finish school which was a great accomplishment.

I have accomplished one of the things on my goal list but there is so many that needs to be addressed. I find it so sad that I'm getting hated on because I'm doing something positive with my life. No, I don't have a job now and yes things are a tad bit hard and my money is funny as hell. I can honestly say I don't know to many people that are college graduates that are working in their field. If you are kudos to you and keep walking with your head held high sister/brother. It really hurts every time I turn around someone is throwing dirt on my name because it seems to look like I'm not doing as well like them or like I should be.

Yes, I am 26.....not 30.......Yes, I just graduated and I don't have no job (I'm Tommy's sister at the moment LOL)..............Yes, I live with my mother but I guarantee you that all of my damn bills are up to par........Yes, my friends are literally the string that is holding me together and I am thankful for them not daily but hourly........Yes, I am dealing with certain things and regrets in my life but I am a work in progress and that is really all that I can do (strive to be better).

So yes the low blows that I am getting because of being on this show is bitter sweet because it's making me get up daily and strive to be better and chase my dream. Unlike some of you I can't work a 9-5 where I am completely unhappy and is just living paycheck to paycheck. I don't mind living with my mother until my situation changes. IF you think I'm a bum for that (that's your opinion). I have a very supportive family and they know I can't go back to the 9-5 job that I hated so much but made a decent amount of money at. I have a $60,000 degree under my belt and I paid for school all by myself........I will utilize it to the fullest and if you have a problem with that......well take it up with God.

I want to thank all the viewers that watch to just judge and criticize me......your only making me better. Especially, the ones that feel that I'm taking their loved ones away......if you really bout that life you wouldn't be worried about little ole me (yes, you)...........I'm pursuing my passion, happiness and peace.........I'm sorry chasing dick is not on the itinerary #toyashrug.

Thanks for tuning in we well I really appreciate your support we look forward to you watching webisode 14 which is coming soon. Until next time follow me on twitter @DeShawnsWorld to see the trials and tribulations that I must go through to be the best Art Director of the best publication there is.

Love,
LaToya De'Shawn